


Sex is a Fallacy

by vala (valinorean)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: EWE, Established Relationship, M/M, PWP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-21
Updated: 2010-10-21
Packaged: 2017-10-23 05:55:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/246952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valinorean/pseuds/vala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Draco uses Slytherin logic to thwart Harry's advances.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sex is a Fallacy

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Love is a Fallacy](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/4265) by Max Shulman. 



> Written for HD Season's 13 Smutty Nights of Halloween, night 3 (prompt: skeletons, kiss)  
> Written for HD Fluff's Fluffy Halloween Fest (prompt: Harry and Draco are baking cupcakes to decorate for Halloween, and they end up doing more kissing than baking)

“Hey Draco, wanna fuck?”   


“Must you be so crude, Potter?”

It was a cool Sunday morning and both men were baking cupcakes for Hermione’s annual Halloween party that evening. Well, Draco was _trying_ , but a certain raven-haired Auror was determined to get in the way.

“We need to finish this if we don’t want to be at the end of a pregnant woman’s hormonal tirade,” Draco said, annoyed at his lover’s insistence. “Besides, we had sex not two hours ago, how could you still want more?”

“Aw, c’mon love, you know you’re the best anyone could ever have,” Harry said, attempting to soften his lover’s frown.

Draco, however, was having none of it. “You know, that’s a Hasty Generalization.”

Harry blinked. “A what now?”

“Hasty Generalization,” Draco repeated. “Although we know it’s true, you can’t tell me I’m the best since you’ve never slept with everyone. Like Zacharias Smith for instance.”

“Thank god for that,” Harry rolled his eyes. “And why would I want to sleep with someone who has way too many skeletons in his closet?” Harry shivered at the thought. “Not to mention he’s still _in_ the closet,” Harry added.

“Well, that’s just Poisoning the Well,” Draco smirked. He Scourgified himself as he placed the last batch of cupcakes in the oven.

“Don’t tell me you—,” Harry began.

“Oh please,” Draco scoffed as he sat down on one of the kitchen chairs to wait for the cupcakes to bake. “I don’t do blonds. And arseholes.”

“I do!” Harry cried happily, launching himself on the other man’s lap. “Blonds and arseholes are my favourite.”

“Potter—,” Draco began, but was cut off by the mouth that was quickly pressed against his.

He started nibbling Draco’s ear while continuing their previous conversation. “How about you’re the best because you don’t need to play Quidditch to enjoy riding a broom.”

“False Analogy,” said Draco. He moaned softly as Harry nibbled on a particularly sensitive part behind his ear. “You can’t compare sex with Quidditch.”

“Why not? You ride brooms on both,” Harry said, grinding their pelvis together to prove his point. “What’s so _false_ about that?”

Harry started unbuttoning Draco’s shirt while his mouth moved lower to trail kisses down his lover’s chest. He took a nipple in his mouth and rolled it in his tongue, eliciting a whimper from the other man.

“Okay, how about this,” Harry began again. “Sex is good exercise. Everyone should have sex all the time.”

“Dicto Simpliciter,” Draco argued, grabbing Harry’s shoulder and trying not to arch against the teasing mouth. “You’ll have to qualify that statement. For example, sex with _me_ is good exercise.”

“Okay,” Harry agreed quickly. “Sex with _you_ is good exercise. We should have sex _all the time_.”

“Mmm,” came Draco’s reply. “Still a no.”

Harry moved lower down to Draco’s navel, hot breath heating the pale skin. Draco squirmed, trying to get Harry to move lower still.

“But Draco,” Harry said, giving his lover his best puppy eye impression. “You _need_ sex. Otherwise, you’ll be all cranky and drive everyone crazy, and I’ll be sad and depressed because I’m not getting any, and then _I’ll_ drive everyone crazy!”

“Ad Misericordiam,” Draco grunted. He tangled his hands in Harry’s hair to direct him to the bulge straining against his pants. “You’re just appealing to my sympathy.”

Harry nuzzled the bulge, feeling it grow harder still. He took it in his mouth and blew a stream of hot breath against the cloth. Draco hissed in reply.

“How about ‘the day always looks brighter after a night full of sex’” Harry said.

“That’s because you usually wake up at noon afterwards,” replied Draco. His hips bucked as Harry scraped his teeth against the front of his pants. “And also, that’s Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc. It’s the basis for many erroneous beliefs.”

Harry slowly pulled down the pants and freed Draco’s throbbing erection. He rubbed his cheek against it and buried his nose on the pale curls at the base.

“Harry—,” Draco’s breath hitched. He tugged at Harry’s hair, moving his lover’s mouth to the tip of his cock.

“I have another one,” Harry said, murmuring against the tip of the weeping cock in front of him. “I’ll never learn the joys of having a cock in my mouth or up my arse without you.”

With that he took the head of Draco’s prick in his mouth and lapped at the pre come.

“T-that’s Hypothesis Con-contrary to Fact,” Draco said haltingly, as Harry’s mouth slowly licked him from the base to the tip. “Granted, you’ll n-never learn as much with anyone else, but you’ll s-still learn.”

Draco groaned loudly as Harry took him whole. He reached back and braced himself against the kitchen chair to keep himself from thrusting into his lover’s mouth. Harry’s head bobbed up and down his shaft for a few minutes, and when Draco was about to near his climax, Harry released him with an audible pop.

“Okay, I have one final argument,” Harry breathed, looking into the glazed grey eyes of his lover. “Sex with you is the best because I love you.”

At those words, Draco’s grey eyes focused and met intense green ones.

“Okay,” he whispered. “That’ll do.”

Cupcakes long forgotten, Draco nodded his approval and allowed himself to be dragged into the bedroom.

Because love is definitely not a fallacy.


End file.
